October 1, 2009

Current Goal:  299

Current Struggle:  Keeping focus

Current Weight:  306

Current Mood:  Stuck

I am really stuck.  I haven’t been keeping good focus on healthy eating or adequate movement.  Work has been unbelievably stressful ~ more layoffs, out-of-control work loads, sudden terminal illness diagnosis of a long-time, close co-worker, sudden death of another co-worker’s father ~ the list goes on and on.  I am surprised at the difficulty I’m having at staying focused.  I find myself turning consistently to comfort foods.  For me, that is loaded baked potatoes and fried foods.  And as much as I was enjoying my Wii Fit, I haven’t played with it this week.  And as if there isn’t enough negative around me, I am doing a really good job of beating myself up. 

Through it all, though, I somehow continue to hang on to the vision of losing weight.  Sometimes I wonder if I am delusional!  I continue to REFUSE to give up.  For me, as long as I keep the goal in mind, I can keep sight of the fact that this is all temporary.  Last February, I knew I was going to get the weight off “one of these days,” but had no idea that I would have lost 25 pounds in the next seven months.

So, I hang on to “this too shall pass.”  I wish I could figure out why I’m able to be so focused at some times and so distracted at others.  What I do know, though, is that this absolutely is one day at a time.  Who knows, this time tomorrow I could have a completely different outlook:  more focused and positive.  Until then, I’ll keep putting foot in front of the other and hold on to the dream…..